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It was a beautiful day in japamerica as you strolled gracefully down the street. Your flawlwess, beautiful, silky, flowing, radiant, magnificent locks glistened in the sun and your voluptious, fantastic, super  bodacious bod was making all the men within a 91928 mile radius fap themselves dry as every single woman on the planet hated you for being so perfect and smart and amazingly amazing.
Some player hatin' hoe tossed a bomb at you but you just whipped that shit away with your totally rockin' tits and it flew back incinerating her and a nearby building wich you walked away from in slow motion, too cool and baller to even bother looking back.
This only made Ludwig VanMeinKampf notice you and imediately fall in love.

"Ach du lieber!" He exclaimed, "I can't contain meinself!"

He ran to you also in slow motion as he ripped off his shirt exposing his perfectly rippling man muscles that were oiled up and shimmering sexily. You pretended not to be totally impressed by his fabulous super saiyan physique because that would make you look too desperate and it's not liek you were desperate at all because you're so hot that Jesus Christ had his second coming.
When he was close enough to you, he quickly regained his studly German seme composure and punched his penis repetedly so it wouldn't spring out of his pants. However, one look into your immaculate, sparkling, dazzling eyes snapped his unbreakable Gestapo control and he screamed "HOP ON MEIN SCHLONG!" as his mastadonic member tore through his lederhosen and punched Japan in the eye.

"DOSHITE!!?!" Japan shouts, cupping his now black eye. He then sees you standing there in your radiant glorious glory and totally forgets that he just got a face full of Germany's Bratwurst and dives into his Mitsubishi vehicle proceeding to drive as fast as he can towards you.
"NANI?? My smarr asian eyes make it so dificurt to see the road!"
Japan crashes into a crowd of streat performers but since he's Japanese, he karate jumped out of his vehicle before it exploded and did a cool martial artsy flip and landed next to you and Germany.
"NEIN!" shouts Germany as he steps between you and Japan who is already tearing of his kimono or whatever because he's soooo hot for you. "She is MEIN! We are in love!"
Japan wips out the katana he had shiethed up his rectum and points it at the  angry Doichlander.
"Me and (yourname)-san-chan-sama are destined for to being together! It was fortold in China's fortune cookie! DATTEBAYO!!!!" Just then China leaps into the scene armed with a deadly Hello Kitty embellished rifle. Japan and Germany gasp as China throws himself at your feet and begins stroking them affectionately.
"She have so small lotus feet! We must be wed!" Japan and Germany exchange angry but still very sexy and handsome expressions as they proceed to pull China away from you by his ponytail. You watch them wrestling in a big sweaty totally smexi man heap and yoink out your notebook writing down ideas for your next yaoi fanfiction. Just then, Russia comes charging down the street, pockets full of borscht!
"MY BEAUTIFUL YELDA!" he sings as he sweeps you into his big manly hunky Russian arms.
"SACREBLEU! Unhand my woman, you filthy salope!" France shrieks as he flings croisants, expertly striking Russia in his eyes and uses his baget to stab the offending man in the butthole.
As the other nations fight to the death for your love Italy who was spinning spaggetti noticed you and cryed tears of joy because his eyes had never beheld such a juicy ass. He jumped out of the 7th floor window of the building he was in and died. The friendly nation of Yakastonia witnessed this horrible tragedy and felt stricken with grief so he told himself a black joke to cheer up.
"I say, that's a mighty fine behind! Fancy a shag?" Brittain asked as he lept from the trolly he was riding.
"Piss off, you blooming barmpot!" yelled England from the top of Big Ben.
"Silence, you pillock!" Brittain cried as he exposed his hairy chest.
All of the very sexy men began shedding their clothing and struggling to make it to you to claim you as their one and only number one super special awesome chocolatey fudge coated ultra rare 1st edition LOVE!
AMERICAAAAA
"What the hell is that?" Said Germany between punches
AMERICAAAAAAAAAAA
"AIYAA!!" screamed China in fear
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!
The epic music began to play as America flew through the sky naked with a jetpack spewing napalm from his dong. The other nations scrambled for cover but it was too late because AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
They all were caught in the firey deathsplosion.
America landed triumphently infront of you as hamburgers and fries began raining from the sky. He swung his huge massive gigantic American penis and cleared the street of the dead bodies of everyone else who was not American.

"I pledge alliegance TO DAT ASS!"
Tears welled up in your eyes as more romantic and beautiful words have never been spoken to you.
And in the end America wins because FREEDOM IS THE ONLY WAY, YEAH!
donut steal
Add a Comment:
 
:iconpurpleluverforever:
This is one of the most funny- no... amazing- no... Hilarious things I have ever read. I am going to make all my friends read this. Just because it is that hilarious and funny. I was laughing like a retard, out loud the whole time I was reading this, and my parents were looking at me as if I was a retard, But I was like "Who cares! This thing is flipping amazing!" And, like the stupid american I am. I pledge allegiance to Dat Ass. But I'm me... So, I pledge allegiance to every ass. Because according to my friends I have an Ass Fetish. So. Yeah. But I'm sure Reader-Tan was flipping effin sexy.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
102 out of 103 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconpyroscarlet:
omg liek

dis is the best story i read in my life

i love you for writing this

will you marry me?

we can both grind up against all of the dead countries with america like "aww yee buddy, this shits for real home dog. we up in dis shit like christmas"

and like america will be like "awww shit, shit just got real up in this shit home dog. hero!"

then we will sit on his penis and fly away.

like a fire truckin bawses.
yes.
the end.


this is the best critique ever, your argument is invalid.

lol sfsdf
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
72 out of 74 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconpuppyi:
puppyi Featured By Owner 1 day ago
Oh my god this was the best thing i have ever read!!
Reply
:iconiamdibandmothman:
IAmDibAndMothman Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2015  Student Artist
XD WTF!?
Reply
:icontheravingidiot:
TheRavingIdiot Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If you threw concentrated perfection on a computer this would be the outcome.
Reply
:iconlovelife4dayzz:
Lovelife4dayzz Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2015  Student Artist
Oh my gosh this is like the perfect story right here..I just could not stop laughing..XD you have a VERY creative mind is all I can say..
Reply
:iconmajorsusan:
MajorSusan Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2015
I-I-I have no words
Reply
:iconagenuslewolfus:
AgenusLeWolfus Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2015  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Well damn o-o
Reply
:iconmobgurl145:
mobgurl145 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2015
Aaaaaaaaand this is what happens when the last piece of food Is on the table...
Reply
:iconbunnygoblin:
Bunnygoblin Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2015
how is it possible for someone to think up something so awesome
Reply
:iconbunnygoblin:
Bunnygoblin Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2015
that was the most perfict thing ever,i almost peed.i must find a way to share this with my friends.
Reply
:iconajscorza:
ajscorza Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2015
This is the funniest thing I've ever read! I'm sitting in bed laughing like an idiot reading this. This is a beautiful peice of work. Great job! Love the originality! Never read anything like this. I love this so much!!!
Reply
:iconshowmelove435:
showmelove435 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015
😆 I swear I was gonna die of laughter were you on drugs of something because that was fucken funny
Reply
:iconmrsfoxy123:
mrsfoxy123 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  New member  Artist
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO DAT ASS XD FUNNYYY
Reply
:iconroselilycarnation317:
Roselilycarnation317 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  New member
Wut?
Reply
:iconhetaliaislyfe:
HetaliaIsLyfe Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
omg i died
Reply
:iconloveprussiaxrussia:
LovePrussiaxRussia Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Student General Artist
OMFG this made my day!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconsicasica4:
SicaSica4 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  Student Photographer
wat
Reply
:iconhitchiker-42:
Hitchiker-42 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
What did i just read? I'm not saying it was bad just waaaaa
Reply
:iconbilbertgeilschmidt:
BilbertGeilschmidt Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is epitome of beauty and I will forever cherish this dearly, closely, to my heart.

Seriously though, this made me laugh very hard because, as a writer, I absolutely despise poorly written stories, and I got immediately what you were calling attention to, and I deeply respect that.
Reply
:iconanime-kittykat:
Anime-KittyKat Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
What did I just read. Estonia emote 
Reply
:iconleaotis21:
LeaOtis21 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014
AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
Reply
:iconqueenfangirli:
QueenFangirlI Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2014
Well.

Guess who died of laughter.
Reply
:iconletuise:
Letuise Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
What..What... XD
Reply
:iconpinkett1314:
Pinkett1314 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I can't stap laughing I'm just i couldn't even process this
Reply
:iconhipsterchou:
HipsterChou Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2014  Student General Artist
I can't even. Best fanfiction ever. England (Laughing) [V3]  I love it. Cheers to you. Exo : Kai Laughing 
Reply
:iconkitty45612:
Kitty45612 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2014
this has to be the best story I've ever read i can't stop reading dis shit 
all the men fap themselves dry?!!
Reply
:icons1mr4n:
s1mr4n Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014
lol wut did i just read XD

i wanna be liek Reader-chan.......she seems cool.......not like mw though........ D:
Reply
:iconhithereimspecial:
hithereimspecial Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2014
.... XD
Reply
:icondownshiftplus:
DownShiftPlus Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This. Was.
The most random and hilarious story I have ever read..lol
Reply
:iconantarctic-circle:
Antarctic-Circle Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2014
That was so fucked up that it was awesome. Great job.
Filled witjed uncensored creativity.
Reply
:iconcrayolademigod:
crayolademigod Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Reply
:iconcreepyanimefreak02:
CreepyAnimeFreak02 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
"I pledge allegiance to DAT ASS"
*dies of laughter*Guffaw Insane Laughter fella Laughing (Reactions) .: giggle :. Little Leo Generous, Honesty, Laughter, Kindness, Loyalty :gigglesnort: Yami Bakura evil laughter :cackle: Naruticon :teehee: Laughing Laughter bahaha My emotional hell Haha 
Reply
:iconnerdygamer7896:
nerdygamer7896 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2014
can we be freinds oh awesome one
Reply
:iconpeachycreame:
Peachycreame Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is the best thing ever, can't stop the tears. U got or self a new follower (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥`)
Reply
:iconamuricafjones:
amuricafjones Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
wOAH
THIS IS AMAZING
BEST READER INSERT EVER 
ALL WRITERS MUST BE LIKE JEALOUS OF YOU
Reply
:iconsweaters-from-canada:
((li3k, t0tally th3 b3st fanf1c ev3r))
Reply
:iconlunagameriminportal:
LunaGamerImInPortal Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Student General Artist
I love your icon!
Reply
:iconsweaters-from-canada:
sweaters-from-canada Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014
((//happy screaming noises

ttHANk you!))
Reply
:iconlunagameriminportal:
LunaGamerImInPortal Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Student General Artist
No problem!
Reply
:iconlunagameriminportal:
LunaGamerImInPortal Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2014  Student General Artist
XD OMG THIS IS SO PERFECT XD GIRL YOU FAB! XD
Reply
:iconlinkfangirl123:
LinkFanGirl123 Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014
Holy shat..my mind is blown..the fahk..nevermind.
Reply
:iconmochiface:
MochiFace Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014
I bookmarked this....and the bookmark said....

OH MY FUCKING GOD NO.

I like the story though, it's pretty damn funny. I am impressed at how much you caused me to laugh. It's probably cuz Ima racist motha-fucka. I ESPECIALLY LOVED THESE TWO PARTS:

1."DOSHITE!!?!" Japan shouts, cupping his now black eye. He then sees you standing there in your radiant glorious glory and totally forgets that he just got a face full of Germany's Bratwurst and dives into his Mitsubishi vehicle proceeding to drive as fast as he can towards you. 
"NANI?? My smarr asian eyes make it so dificurt to see the road!" 
Japan crashes into a crowd of streat performers but since he's Japanese, he karate jumped out of his vehicle before it exploded and did a cool martial artsy flip and landed next to you and Germany.

2.The epic music began to play as America flew through the sky naked with a jetpack spewing napalm from his dong. The other nations scrambled for cover but it was too late because AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
They all were caught in the firey deathsplosion.
America landed triumphently infront of you as hamburgers and fries began raining from the sky. He swung his huge massive gigantic American penis and cleared the street of the dead bodies of everyone else who was not American. 

"I pledge alliegance TO DAT ASS!" 
Tears welled up in your eyes as more romantic and beautiful words have never been spoken to you. 
And in the end America wins because FREEDOM IS THE ONLY WAY, YEAH!

Thank you for giving me a valid reason about why America always wins.

Because AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
Reply
:icon6feetunder-taker:
6FeetUnder-Taker Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2014
Will you marry me please? 
Reply
:iconzheawesomeonejv1:
zheawesomeonejv1 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
OHHHHHH MYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDanisnotonfire: FEELS 

I-I-I--FUCKING FUNNIEEEEEST THING EEEEEVERRRRRRRRR Cat fail jump Crazy Homer Face Kai : Hips PervyMoni 
Reply
:iconlunagameriminportal:
LunaGamerImInPortal Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Student General Artist
XD EXACTILY MY FRIEND!!!!! XD
Reply
:iconzheawesomeonejv1:
zheawesomeonejv1 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Pure epic WIN
Reply
:iconlunagameriminportal:
LunaGamerImInPortal Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Student General Artist
EXACTILY XD
Reply
:iconzheawesomeonejv1:
zheawesomeonejv1 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
XD
Reply
:iconlunagameriminportal:
LunaGamerImInPortal Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Student General Artist
Our God is an Awesome God spaz kermit omfg KEN U NOT im fabulous HNNNGGGG hey baby Creepy stare SCREAM can't touch this Please, F*** off! Ninja icon Mike screaming APH Italy Roll Squeal dance fabulous I'm Dead Grumpy Mike We're not looking at your stuff Booty let me show you the dance of my people I DUNNO Spaz out Fancy Creeper Icon No respond 
Reply
:iconzheawesomeonejv1:
zheawesomeonejv1 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconmysalsaplz:pewdiepie gasp PewDiePie - Wat Pewdiepie PokerFace!!! Skrillex- Brofist poodsisprocessingplz
 Pewdiepie Dance Twerk xD Pewdiepie Lick doe xD Pewdiepie Like A Virgin 0-0 Pewdiepie Scream HolaSoyGerman - Peace dance Pewdiepie Harlem Shake UNCENSORED 
Reply
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Submitted on
May 7, 2012
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